You owe it to yourself

Is this it?   Is your life fulfilled?   
What is your answer to the following questions?

 Where am I going?

What is my purpose?

Am I living my life to its fullest ?

 

I know for some of you the answers will roll of your tongue, well rehearsed, because you are living your life. Living a life that is meaningful and purposeful. You probably even have a little book (or bucket list) of places you need to go, dates for when you need to have got there, deadlines for specific achievements. You have got it all mapped out and don’t intend to waste any time of this ONE LIFE!

For others you will read the questions, struggle to answer them and then generate a whole range of reasons, excuses, people, facts for why you cant answer them yet!

And there will be a large number of you who will read those questions and feel sad. Feel sad because you know that your answers reflect a life that is not being lived to its full potential (apart from in your dreams).

If you are in the first group – well done to you! Keep doing You!  Keep moving, striving, aiming high and living.

If you are the second or third group, I understand that there always appears to be a good enough reason, to put it off till tomorrow, or a person who is holding you back. I understand that you are just waiting for the right moment, till you get that next sum of money, till the children are older, you get that new job, you lose a bit of weight, pass your test, he/she leaves, you write your plan, or what ever other reason that you use as your excuse to be dishonest to yourself!

The list can go on and on, there will always be a hundred and one reasons why you can’t start TODAY! And the reason is because as soon as that reason is not there anymore, you will replace it with another one.

 A client I met recently told me about his plans to set up his own business. His idea was very good (but as he told me his idea I couldn’t help thinking  - but this already exists) any way he told me about how as a 20 year old man he had dreamt up this idea, even sketched out a business plan. Then his girlfriend got pregnant and so he put all his energies into working harder getting extra money to pay for all the necessary baby bits. He shelved his dream for when the baby was a bit older. And then came baby two and shortly after baby three. He thought about his idea often, but there was always something else more deserving of his time.

He sat in front of me 35 years of age, father of three – lost! His dream business had been done, replicated and now offered nothing unique. He had channelled his energies into being a good dad, good provider and good partner but he felt empty. He was upset (with himself) for putting his dreams on the shelf because now he believed he had lost his chance. Of course he was happy with what he HAD achieved but he wanted MORE!

 We worked through this and looked at his options, discussed his feelings of emptiness and his desire to be MORE! His story is ongoing and he is currently looking at new ideas, but his story is not unique to him.

For many of you in group two and three you will be used to hiding behind a valid reason for not doing more. I’ve got three children, I love him, it’s convenient, I don’t have time, I’m going to do it next year……………………………………..

Nobody really challenges you because your reasons are all valid. But I know that YOU CHALLENGE YOU! – THE MAN/WOMAN IN THE MIRROR CHALLENGES YOU!

You see it is very easy to roll of legitimate sounding excuses for Why you are NOT doing, but when the lights are out and it’s just you and your conscious or when you look in the mirror and ask yourself the questions above. When its just you answering you, you know that you are selling yourself short, being dishonest with yourself.

Of course any challenge by definition is going to come with a raft of problems to overcome, issues to resolve, mountains to climb, decisions to make, choices to choose, crossroads and casualties.

These don’t have to be negative, bad or too painful. Imagine if you decided to follow your heart and do what you know to be right.

Let’s say at the moment you are in a dead end job, that just pays enough to get by. What you really want is to go to University and train as a Teacher.

There are a hundred hurdles, finding time to study, being good enough, how will you cope financially? Who will help? What about your children? The list can go on forever –

Imagine if you wrote all those questions on a piece of paper and ANSWERED them.

Finding time to study – I will ask my two closest friends to look after the children for one night a month.

Being good enough – I will join a study group, study harder, talk to the tutor/ask for help if I am struggling
Financially – I will ensure that I find out about all the grants, benefits available to me. I am already struggling to cope financially but if I do this I will get a better job and in the long run my income will be greater.
Who will help? – I have two very close friends a sister and my dad who love me. I will tell them I will need their support more than ever over the next 3 years.
My children? – will never be short of love and care. They will be inspired by my actions.

When you answer your questions you find there is always a solution.  If you don’t answer the question – it remains just that. And over time it gets bigger, rmore real and in the end it becomes a fact eg I cannot go to university because I will not have enough time to study, am not good enough, I would struggle financially, I would need help and I have three children.

Really?

Are you going to sell yourself short? Are you going to deny yourself the opportunity to live the life you deserve? Or are you going to ask yourself the questions, answer them and then go and do it!

Make yourself a promise, find an hour for yourself arm yourself with a pen and paper – write your dream at the top of it. Draw a line down the middle centre of the page and on the left hand side write down all the things that are stopping you; on the right hand side write a solution to each of these. At the bottom of the page write in big bold letters MY NEW LIFE STARTS HERE!

 

GOOD LUCK X