Fake it until you Make it!

In honour of the lovely weather, I was home early this evening and got to spend an hour in the garden basking in the early evening sun. I started to carry out my normal evening routine, became sidetracked and found myself sitting infront of the TV watching ‘Ashley Banjo’s Secret Dancecrew’. I have watched this a few times and seen an array of ‘groups’ of people spending three weeks being put through some tough paces all to reveal somewhere between a  mediocre and average end performance.

I was hooked from the off tonight, Ashley’s secret group were five Estate Agents all oozing confidence. The Manager was so full of himself he gave himself an initial rating of just below Ashley!

Normally during this show Ashley and his team will show the ‘secret group’ the routine he wishes them to learn, and their response is shock, horror, fear, doubt and so on. But not this confident bunch. Speared on by the Manager they all professed that ‘Yes they could do it’ the manager event went on to say ‘we’re going to smash it!

And so the show unfolds, and to give them their dues they were probably one of the most ‘together’ groups I have seen on this show. Ashley had given them a particularly complex routine – to match their confidence, but the team worked on and on. Their sense of self belief was impressive and their dogged determination was in my opinion ‘award worthy’.

In one clip Ashley expresses his concern at their over confidence, and then brings them to London to perform their routine in a busy square in Central London infront of Office workers eating their lunch.

Suffice to say, the group fell apart and after the performance the manager sits with Ashley and confides that in fact he is not as confident as he has been saying (and indeed hasn’t been since the start). He went on to say that he was using the same skills, language, enthusiasm, leadership that he uses within his business. When the team face a challenge, he steps up and encourages them to believe in themselves and they all rise to the occasion.

At the risk of sounding like a TV critic or spoiler, the final performance was ‘Great’ (probably one of the best I have seen on this show).

But what really interested me about this group of Estate Agents was there unwavering confidence, even though each of them (based on what the manager said for himself) were probably really frightened – for each other they put on a face of confidence. They sneered at Dolphin flips, jeered at half twists and poo pooed the most complex of twists! Throughout the whole three weeks they not only believed they were going to do it, they believed that they were going to do it as good as Ashley and his crew! They said this Loud, they said this Proud. These boys truly believed, failure was NOT an option.

 

The truth is they didn’t believe it but they told themselves that they believed it. They told each other that they believed it and there manager laid down an unspoken expectation that they would do it.

I call this fake it until you make it! Self belief, belief in each other, a strong leader – were all key components to their belief in success.

This reminded me of some of the clients I have coached – until they are able to gain ‘self-belief’ things seem impossible.  Until they begin to believe in themselves, their hopes, aspirations, do not/cannot happen. But when they have that belief, when they start believing, visualising, thinking, feeling, smelling …. That it is possible – then it simply IS.

If the mind can think it, the body can do it!

Why not try it? – Fake it until you Make it!

The Sun, The Season

How amazing is the Sun? Not withstanding its obvious powers in assisting the growth of flowers, animals, Us - but it's power to make life seem Great, achievable, happy, purposeful and so on.

 The odd day of Sun is always welcome, it catches most of us unaware and we spend extra time scrabbling through our wardrobe to find an outfit suitable for this welcome but rare sunny interlude. No way will we waste this unexpected Sunny day shrouded in our now uniform like Winter attire.

 But when the Sun becomes a daily occurrence you slowly see the world change. People smile more, wear less, walk slower but more upright. They find time and excuses to be outside, for fear of missing a moment of what seems to be becoming a luxury in England. Sunshine!

 Is it just me or is it commonplace for you too? As the Sun becomes a regular occurrence I start planning evening jaunts again. My day extends from being to and from work and I begin planning. I make plans, I do things, I am energised, I live fuller days. 

 Like yesterday I met up with a dear friend who having returned from a week in Spain has embarked on a new chapter in her life. In the reverse of my situation she has left her nest full and moved in with her significant other. So yesterday we reminisced at how our lives had mirrored each others in many ways during our 16 year friendship. Not always in unison but generally with a month or a year in between; house moves, separations, new jobs .... And as if the universe knows we all need a helping hand, it feels like it intentionally provided these gaps so one of us was always experienced in the matter, and could lead the other when their time came. So yesterday I was the 'experienced' one, I was the one who had trod the path of 'emptynestdom' I had experienced the pain, pride, pleasure that this situation takes you through. My friend expressed her feelings, fears and fantasies while I listened, soothed and laughed appropriately. I've been there so I know that in time, she will be fine, the pride and pleasure will outweigh any pangs of pain. I know this because I have been there. I know this because just like the Sun eventually always comes out and stays out for its season; life has its seasons too. Whatever you are going through whether for you it is good or bad, know that it doesn't last forever. So if its something you are happy with and enjoy, then celebrate it, extend it, make it last. If its a situation that your not happy with, ask yourself how it came to be?, retrace your steps - know them well so you can avoid them in the future. Remember the Sun comes out, in the beginning it's just the odd day, but eventually it stays for the season.

We all need someone who inspires us to do better than we know how

One of my favourite past times during the Spring and Summer has to be ‘early evening drinks in the City’. I generally do this mid week,  it’s not the idea of drinking alcohol that excites me (infact I often stick to tonic water), but more the company.

We all lead such busy lives and the solace of the weekend for many is disappearing fast. But just like me extending my weekends to include Fridays, arranging mid week drinks to catch up with friends enables me to keep my social life ticking nicely.

So this evening I met with a dear friend who came into my life just five months ago; from the second time I met her I knew this was to be a long lasting friendship. I truly believe that we meet people for a reason, and generally they fall into one of two categories either a Blessing or a Lesson. Well the friend in question falls neatly into both. Her humbleness, hunger for knowledge and appreciation of life. Her outlook on life, her wisdom and kindness, innocence and beauty all teach and bless me with the courage and energy to pursue my dreams.

Time spent with her ‘invigorates my brain’ she compels me to think and teases my sometimes dormant creative cells.

So for three hours this evening in between drinking two glasses of tonic water and a bowl of home made chips. I have enjoyed the company of a wonderful woman who inspires me to do better!

I hope you have such a person in your life, someone who after five minutes in their company, you become rejuvenated, ideas begin popping into your head and you feel brave enough to dream or do!

 

If you haven’t got such a person yet, I challenge you to seek one out.

Life begins at 40 so what's going on? - Google+

Life begins at 40 so what's going on? - Google+

Strength

Strength 

How strong are you? I don't mean strength as in moving a wardrobe or carrying a heavy box? I mean emotional strength. Is there really such a thing? Many things are  measurable but can you measure emotional strength. Are you stronger than me? Am I stronger than you? How would you measure emotional strength?
Would you expose me and my opponent to a series of upsetting events/trauma until one of us cried out that we can take no more? Would the winner become an emotional wreck having suffered such a large scale of upset? Or would they become uber resilient?

So does such exposure make us stronger or weaker? Or is the answer it makes us wiser?

 I've always considered myself to be emotionally strong. Indeed a friend used to call me the Ice Maiden! Now don't get me wrong, I do have a heart ( a big heart) I feel pain, happiness, Love and a whole range of other emotions. I have a sense of humour, love chick flicks and romances, and get angry at cruelty and anything unfair. I suffer no fools, see my glass half full and believe everything happens for a reason (even if that reason is not obvious). I believe in cause and effect, action and reaction, and that the solution is within us.

I don't cry over matters, I find solutions - practical solutions. I fix problems, make things 'seem' better and if all else fails I'll write a letter!. That's how I deal with life, and exercise my emotional strength, if you like.

I have come to realise that those strategies (yes that's what they are) those strategies are just that. A plan to get me through a particular situation. Because life can be quite cyclical, it stands to reason that you reuse these strategies many many times. So you become adept at applying those strategies.

For the past through months, I have been going through uncharted territory, experiencing issues and emotions previously unused. For a very long while, I felt like I was drowning in these new emotions. I conceded that I did not have the strength to rise above and overcome. The uncomfortable feeling I felt at myself for giving up was almost equal to the emotions of the situation. 
During this period I felt, lost and weak and very out of control.

It took a while but I began to take control, started to chip away at the situation. By portioning the situation into bite size achievable chunks, I started to achieve small but real successes. With each small triumph I began to feel a bit better. Feeling that bit better enabled me to think clearer and thinking clearly allowed me to see glimmers of opportunities. 

I don't know if I'm 'stronger' but I do know that I understand myself better and differently. I realise that 'not crying' is not a measure of my strength.

I know now that strength is not measured by whether I can carry heavy objects. I know now it is measured by how many times I dropped that object and stooped to pick it up.

Hey You there Friday

Get back here!

I don't know about you, but for me Friday is the best day of the weekend. Okay so it's not officially part of the weekend, but if you use it wisely it can be.

Think about it, so you have a typical week at work Monday to Friday, by midday Friday your fit to fall asleep on your feet. You struggle on to clicking off time, do the final rush hour commute for the week. You get home and as a treat to yourself you have a nice bubble bath followed by a takeaway and a glass or two of Red. You look back on the past week and congratulate yourself for making it through to Friday. You indulge yourself in some mindless TV and about midnight you paddle off to bed Exhausted. You get up Saturday morning do some chores, off to the supermarket to do your weekly shop, dash to the hairdressers for your 3pm appointment. Back home you put away the shopping, hang out your washing, spend half hour deciding what you are going to wear out tonight (it's your besties birthday/Aunties engagement/girls night out etc).
By 8.30pm your all preened and primed and ready to go! You have a great night out, rolling in at 2.30am.
On Sunday morning you wake at 9.15am with a stinker of a hangover, you plod around the house cursing yourself for drinking too much and wishing you could just curl up and sleep for a few more hours. But you can't because you've promised to meet your cousin at the shops to help her pick an outfit for her pending Engagement party and after that you have to be at your Mums for 3pm for a family Sunday lunch. You finally get home at 8pm and jump into bed exhausted, ready to start the week all over again.

Now imagine if you had moved you party night to Friday night, done your foodshop online during the week to be delivered at midday on Saturday.

So now imagine this scenario, at lunchtime on Friday you get a pang of excitement because you know you are going out tonight. You take half hour lunch so you can leave a bit earlier and avoid some if the rush hour traffic. You get home order a takeaway watch and eat it while watching your favourite soap. Then it's a nice relaxing soak before you don your glad rags and go out for a fun night. You roll in at 2.30am make sure your alarm click is switched off and get into bed . You wake headache free at 9.15am you make a coffee and some toast and take it back to bed where you read a magazine and then drift off for another hour. You wake again at 11.30am do your chores, put away you home deluvery and then get dressed ready to meet your cousin for Engagement party dress shopping. The shopping trip is successful so you treat yourself to a nice bottle of red and invite your cousin to join you for supper. You both watch a classic chick flick, drink wine and giggle like schoolgirls. Your cousin leaves at midnight and your in bed by half past.
You wake bright and refreshed on Sunday morning, spend an hour ironing your clothes for the week, and then take a walk to the Farmers market and treat yourself. On your way home you puck up the Sunday paper and take it home to read over brunch.
You go off to your mums for family lunch, have a great relaxing time. You get home at 8pm and curl up on the Setee with a cup of cocoa and reflect on your weekend. You realise that by just changing things around slightly, you managed to fit in a number of activities and obligations as well as rest and  prepare for the week to come.

Go on try it...add Friday to your weekend!

Mundane but necessary tasks

 no matter how you dress them up, are just that – mundane but necessary.

I’ve been in my ‘pad’ for three and a half months now, and while I am very very settled, lurking like the 20 foot Gorilla in my spare room/grandchildren’s bedroom cum study are three boxes.

 

Three unpacked boxes.

 

To be fair to myself I did unpack them when I got here and then repacked them! I sorted them in my head and now two of them are waiting on me to purchase some key pieces of Shabby Chic furniture that I have decided the spare room/grandchildrens bedroom cum study need.

So I had one box, one quite large box of a mixture of clothing that needed to be rehomed in my new Oak Bedroom Suite (I say new, but that too is now some three months old).

Time is flying past and while I can account for my time in the last three months, I really thought that room would be finished by now.

Hence todays task was to unpack box three.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this but why does unpacking and reminiscing come hand in hand. Do you know how much time ‘reminiscing’ adds to  a one hour task? About three hours!!

Yes it took me four hours to unpack one (albeit quite large box) of clothes. First I picked up the Black and White Jumper I brought on a whim in Portobello Road. I remembered the day well; I had made plans to meet some friends at Liverpool Street for afterwork drinks, and thought my outfit might not be warm enough come the time we embarked on our journey home. I kicked myself for not bringing a jacket and being seduced by the morning sun. So off I trotted to Portobello Road, and very uncharacteristically of me – I purchased the first item I saw and liked. Normally I view the item and then tread the whole of the Mall, High Road, Market and end up buying the first thing I saw. But on that day I just bought it – Rebel (lol). So I made a new home for that and other jumpers from the box.

Then it was PJ’s and what I like to call Lounge Wear (infact this consists of a bunch of old Tshirts – all with a story). So the first one out of the box was my darling Arsenal Tshirt (not a strip shirt) the tshirt that commerated our Golden year 2004 – 2005 the year we had a run of 49 games unbeaten. The year that most Arsenal supporters still dream will happen again every time we win more than two games in a row. That season was phenomenal, I had my Football Academy at the time and at least 70% of the boys were Arsenal supporters, that was probably one of our best (not the best) seasons too. One of the boys dads worked in a print factory and I remember the Friday night at football training when he turned up with the said Tshirt. I pulled it on over whatever I was wearing that evening and it became my favourite Tshirt from that point on.

To be fair when I looked at it today, it looked as shabby now as Arsenals past few seasons, but I am a fan through the good and the bad and so I found a draw for my PJ’s and Lounge wear excluding the favourite Tshirt which I had put on for old times sake.

Considering how many boxes I used in my house move, and the amount of money I paid for a month’s storage, I was quite gutted to again realise that at least 20% of the contents of that box were in fact rubbish. Well not real rubbish, but certainly items I would not wear again. But that takes time too, you know making that heart wrenching decision to throw an item of clothing away. You have to try it on, have the conversation with yourself ‘is it still fashionable’? can I still get away with this? And when you have to do this for 10 or 12 items you can see how some of those additional three hours were spent this afternoon.

But its done! And I feel GOOD, that is one of the great consolations for completing mundane tasks, you feel good afterwards and you don’t have them hanging over you.

After all that hard work, I couldn’t be bothered to cook, so I treated myself to a takeaway and spent the rest of the evening lounging around.

Goodnight people

Champagne

 

This isn't about Alcohol - but it is about celebrating

 

When did you last celebrate? and what were you celebrating?

 

Many people I know celebrate traditional milestones, Birthdays, Christenings, Weddings, New Birth, Anniversaries......

 

I celebrate all sorts of things, the last thing I celebrated was 'Friday' it was the end of the working week and the weather that week had been pretty damn miserable. Commuting had been its usual London Underground drama, work was great as were my colleagues, and tonight my Grandchildren were coming.

So I went into the local supermarket I bought some goodies and a packet of balloons. I blew up a few balloons and when the grand kids came and they saw the treats and balloons they were HAPPY!!

 

They played with the balloons far longer than they would have any expensive computer game or best selling toy. They didn't ask me why we had balloons or goodies, I guess they kind of expected it. They expected to be HAPPY! Children do, I think thats why they probably cry so loudly - because they don't expect to be sad.

 

I wonder how and why that changes in adults, yes I understand that real life gets in the way and there are problems (real problems) but are they a reason to not expect to be happy? are they enough to consume every moment between one Wedding and the next Birthday? Are they reason enough not to celebrate the day.

 

Are life's problems, so big, so all consuming, so overwhelming so unresolvable that they consume our every waking moment?

 

Sadly for some yes, and at particular times for all of us we will encounter such situations - but generally they are specific situations with a start and an end.

 

Many people seem to wait for the next problem, when in fact most days are problem free, most days may be mundane but they are without trauma or tragedy. Most days we coordinate through our whole day surrounded by blessings and benefits that we don't give a second glance, we don't acknowledge or show gratitude.

 

What would happen if you celebrated your next problem free day?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday

tomorrow is Wednesday, what will you do differently?

what will you do that will make a difference to somebody else?

Nothing planned?

Why not spend some time thinking about it, and then do it?

It might be to say good morning to the first five people you see, or put a £1 coin in a charity box or give 50p to a beggar or a busker

Eat your lunch outside (regardless of the weather albeit snow and rain may be an element too far) but if its not snowing or raining, sit outside and watch people as they go about their day, smile at them, say hello.

Or talk to a stranger

do something different on Wednesday

I'd love to read your posts about what you did and the reactions you created.

I do it all the time, I smile at people (some look at me strangely and scutter on swiftly) but most people smile back and walk on.

I talk to people, not a deep conversation but often the smile will develop into a hello, and then how are you? off somewhere nice? and before you know it theres a whole lighthearted non committal conversation going on.

I Love meeting people this way, especially old people I often think is this the only conversation they will have today?

So go on try it - do something different

get that feel good feeling!

Time not Money

Have you ever been in a situation, and as if from nowhere a word to sum up the situation just pops into your head?

'Aplomb' that's the word that appeared in my mind on Sunday. I was at First borns for dinner along with Big Boy and a few family friends.

I watched Firstborn as she glided around her home with Grace and Aplomb (it's quite a funny sounding word if you say it over - go on try saying it 3 times in a row  aplomb aplomb aplomb - note how you cant help pursing your lips in a funny manner!!) so I watched her carry out task after task, often multi tasking - dishing up a plate of food, handing it to its hungry recipient while lowering the volume of the TV, responding to requests for extras while getting Little boy a drink. Putting on a pre recorded show and then using a baby wipe to clean Little girls sticky hands. A glass of wine for Little girls mum and her friends and off she strode to the bedroom to put fresh sheets on Little boys bed. Back in the room - anyone for dessert? She calls. And then pauses to comment on the discussion that is taking place.

Had she turned to look at me at that time she may have wandered why I looked so starry eyed, why my mouth was fixed with a gentle grin. If she had come closer she would have heard my heart rate had slowed and felt the pride radiating from me.

If she could see into my minds eye she would see that for a breif second I had reverted back in time to some ten fifteen years ago when she and big boy were children and I was the mother completing these tasks hosting, feeding, caring and entertaining (I don't recall being so graceful or stylish - don't think you can ever look stylish in a pair of ten year old faded Orange Florida Gator jogging bottoms can you?) fashion aside, this was my life, no this was my old life - I now am flying solo, flying by the seat oft pants......

How nice it was to look in and see a very basic example of how my parenting had paid off.

Both First born and Bigboy will tell you they had a happy childhood and as a parent that feels good, damn good! Because with Parenting there is no road map, no guide just hunches, six sense and Love.

 

childhood is what you spend your adult life getting over!

 

 I talked to my children...all the time. I didnt use fancy cliches often but when I did - I broke it down, explained the meaning behind it. I didnt leave them second guessing 'adult speak' I translated it to suit their knowledge ability and the situation at hand. I didnt back my self into a corner and then use the old age 'adult card' - because I said so. Maybe I told them too much too young, but if I did I hope I also instilled in them an inquisitive streak to know more. They were fortunate that their father was 'well read' not necessarily in the classics although he had read some of the greats. The father read anything and everything mixed with the fact his favourite channel being the Discovery Channel (so he and one other watch that!!) so while I talked a lot, he knew alot. So many of our children's questions were answered. As a family we read, watched and talked ALOT.

 

So am I sitting here blogging and bragging that I got it right!!!

 

Not at all, my job is not over - remember children are for life, not just for Christmas. Nor am I saying that my children have turned out absolutely fabulously only ever making the correct choices in their young lives. I am not saying that I have not on occasion literally banged my head against a brick wall asking my self ' why me?'

 

No not  atall

 

What I AM saying is I Love it, I Love being a mother, I Loved (most) of the very early years, spent much of their junior years laughing and their teenage years were enlightening to say the least.  Now they are adults, and I continue to Love it.

 

If you are pregnant or a parent what ever the age of your child, what ever your family life is like at this moment. Whether everything is just dandy, or you are looking at your teenagers as if they are strangers! Embrace and be proud of your role, be grateful for this opportunity to shape this young life. Think about who you want your child to be? think about the experiences you expose them too. This is not about money, this is about TIME give your children 'time' make time for your children, put it in your diary if you have to. It could be an hour a day or an hour a week, however much or little you can spare. Use that time wisely and exclusively (no TV in the background) if its reading a book then spend half the time reading the book and the other half talking about the book. 

 

One day you are going to wake up and you will be sitting at their dinner table, visiting them in their home - they in turn will be phoning you to make sure YOU are ok. The tables will have turned and what will help you (and them) is their ability to communicate, to you, their partner, their employer, the bank manager . What will help you to maintain a significant role in their life is the relationship you have created during thier formative younger years.

 

Go on try it...look in your diary find an hour an undisturbed hour ( a whole hour) and spend it with your child, children. Ask them questions, their opinions, see what happens.

 

Let me know what happens, let me know how you felt, your children's reactions, I'd love to hear

Aplomb

Oh dear having spent the last 30 minutes writing today's blog- I have somehow lost it before publishing.

As I have an early morning meeting I really can't stay up to rewrite it; but as I said yesterday failure is when you give up.
So I shall grace you all tomorrow with two blogs. The rewritten lost blog from Monday and some fresh sassy thoughts from Tuesday!

Thanks for checking

What is Your Goal?

What would you try........if you were guaranteed not to fail?

How many things are on your list?

what does failure mean to you? what does it smell like? sound like? does it have a shape? a size?

I don't even like the word! To me its not failing, its just not getting it right the first time, or sometimes the second time, real challenges can take five, six or more attempts.

But that feeling when I get there, that feeling when I have done it! achieved it! made it! overcome it!

THAT FEELING :-) is bigger, better, louder, brighter greater than any description i could give to how I felt before I embarked on the task. The feeling far outweighs the frustration I felt at attempt two, or the exhaustion I felt at attempt four. The feeling is a hundred times better than how I felt just before attempt five where I had convinced myself I didnt really need to do this.

Achievement, movement, progressing, learning, trying..... can never be described as failure.

In fact I am only using the word failure as it is within the quote.

Sometimes, some people dont even attempt or try - so that technically cant be classed as failure. Unless you count the failure to them selves for not trying.

Dont you think we owe it to ourselves to 'try' and if we dont get it right the first time, try again and again and again. Every time you dont get it right you learn a little bit more.

Imagine if you were trying to throw a ball into a bucket, on the first attempt you throw the ball and it goes way past the bucket. When you take the second throw, you instinctly put less power behind that throw because you have learnt already that too hard, lands too far away.

So go back to the question what would you try, if you were guaranteed not to fail? and now realise that you only fail when you give up!

Wishing you a Peaceful sleep and a Happy Monday

Lazy Indulgent Saturdays

One of the best things about living on my own is Saturday mornings! yes plain old Saturday mornings. For as long as I can remember Saturday mornings were either rudely introduced by crying babies and later arguing children followed by the alarm waking me to take the children to one of their many clubs or classes.

As the children grew to adults and I could no longer encourage them to complete household chores to order, I spent many a Saturday trying to keep the dust at bay, hoovering and other domestic type chores. Later still in my life when the grandchildren arrived Saturday mornings always began with a high pitched wail from my grandson - unhappy at something or another or his mum/dad trying to establish what that was!

Suffice to say that for the last 26 years the largest majority of my Saturday mornings were not peaceful. They did not start with me rolling over in my warm bed to feel the sun peeking through my blinds.

That's how I started this Saturday morning, the sun on my face and silence, beautiful thought allowing silence. I lay there for about 10 minutes and then couldnt resist breaking my own peace by grabbing for my mobile phone to see what time I had slept till. It was 9am, so I slipped out of my bed and slipped on my faithful cosy dressing gown and padded into the kitchen...I walked purposefully to my patio doors knowing exactly what I was going to do. I took both hands held on to the curtains and pulled them aside simultaneously. And there it was ............Sunshine, glorious warm inviting happy sunshine. The two brave daffodils that had chosen to come into bloom during the snow, looked taller, yellower, prouder...happier. I turned back and flicked the kettle on, got out my favourite mug (courtesy of one of my best friends). I unlocked the back door and sat at my faithful garden table. I call it faithful as it is the same table that held host to many a family gathering, was the platform for many a 'bar' during a summer barbecue, its parasol provided shelter on the few occasions when the Sun in England got too hot, and in the winter months it allowed me to place lighted candles upon it to provide comfort and light during evening soirees, bonfire parties and fireworks nights.
Now that same table takes pride of place in my new garden, all present and correct and ready to act as whatever vessel i need it to be. But today, dear table I want you to hold my mobile phone and allow me to rest my coffee cup in between sips of the black nectar. I sat like that for over an hour, decided which of the things I had planned to do, I would 'actually' do. I planned my route, I priortised the order, and then I deleted tasks and found other days in the week when I could do them. And I sat and I basked in the glorious sun; after about an hour I realised I was a bit chilly (even after two top ups of coffee) so I progressed to the settee, and left the patio doors open while I sat and responded to emails sent to my website.
I spent two hours looking for a venue for my next WOW (women only workshop) and then decided that a nice soak in the bath was in order. So I had my long soak, and then a nice bowl of Granola and I dont know how but it was already 3pm. Smiling to myself I decided that I should begin my busy day by going to get my nails done, then my eyes (eyebrow tinting - i recommend it) and then off to the barbers to cut my hair (I have a number one all over).
So donning some pre Spring clothing I set off to the Nail shop, quite uneventful although I did enjoy watching the interaction between a Mother and her grown up daughter. They were obviously on the cusp moving from a Mother/Daughter relationship to a Mother/Daughter friend relationship. The daughter was obviously much more ready for it than the mother, but there was love and respect between them so Im sure they will get there.

The Eyebrow shop was quiet, which was good as it meant I was in and out within fifteen minutes. Regardless I was never going to make it to the barbers. So as I stood trying to work out whether I could fit the barbers in after work on Monday, I remembered that a few weeks ago I had considered changing Barbers as the current one was no longer convenient to get to from my new home.

Do you ever get that feeling that your body takes over and it takes you a few moments to catch up. Well before I realised that my legs had decided to walk off, I was some 3 minutes into my journey.....to where? not sure
and then I saw it, a Shiny New Barbers - all high gloss black floors, white walls and comfy black leather setees, the barbers all in black with the name of their shop starkly splashed across their backs.

Do you know I sat and talked to this young barber for over 20 minutes as he cut and reshaped my hair. We talked and talked about our belief systems, the Pyramids, dreams, dancing and cars!!! and I didnt get his name! but I told him I was very happy with my haircut, he had passed my silent test and as I tipped him £3 I told him I would be back in a few weeks.

Back home I settled down to watch 'The Voice' my new vice. I'm not a big TV fan but certain programmes do entertain me, I'm loving the banter of the judges and all the acts 'can actually sing' unlike some of those other awfully painful talent shows.

I made my self a nice meal and then as all good live alone women do, ate a nice bowl of Icecream (Haagen daz of course).

I'm a life coach and had a final telephone session with one of my clients today, she absolutely is a different person six sessions later. Funny that's exactly how I feel - a completely different person.

Ooh Im looking forward to next Saturday :-)

meet some of the characters

first and foremost there's me , 46 single, living alone, mother of two, grandmother of two friend and confident to many. In addition to working full time, I run my own coaching practice, am a photographer have two degrees and am an NLP Master Practitioner. I have recently developed a Boys programme to develop and escalate their Emotional Intelligence (watch this space). Over and above these accolades, I am an FA Qualified Coach and Referee and ran my own Youth football Academy for 6 years. Mixed bag you say! - I say its not a dress rehearsal and there's a whole lot more I want to add to my list.

Then there's first born my girl, I cant really say she is my mini me, because she has traits and attributes that i aspire to but dont deliver with her style and elegance. But her drive, energy, passion yep there me alright. First Born is mother to my main man and Grandson little boy. A heart of absolute gold and probably the same level of intelligence that Steve Job had at his age. A wonder in the making.

And so on to Big boy, wow to see him is to love him. He lives his life, in his way with his rules, always has done and probably always will. Talented and able (often lazy - but its hard to push yourself when things come so easy) but altogether a son to be proud of. Big boy is father to little girl my Princess, a Diva, a cutie and one strong minded little madam who is destined to set the world on fire.

i'll introduce you to (but not today) to first born and big boys significant others, some of my dearest friends oh and not forgetting the mother

but for now remember this is not a dress rehearsal - ask yourself if I left this earth tomorrow - how would I be remembered?

and then there was one

I've listened to hundreds of parents look dreamily as they visualise their empty nest. Children left home, more food in the fridge, minimal laundry, tidy homes, no dissapearing crockery and no strange noises (supposedly music) wafting in the air.

Funny I never understood why they said that? why they wanted that? for me motherhood was for life, like cute puppies - children 'were not just for Christmas'. I wanted mine at home for ever, even when they moved their significant others in - great it was like a BOGOF my two children had multiplied to four!! I loved it - some friends thought I was crazy (others just knew I created my own version of normal) and then my two grew to SIX yes Grandchildren one from each.....bring it on I love it!!
Maybe we'd try to set a new world record how many people can you fit into a five bedroom house?

Slowly I realised my children didnt want to create a new world record (no sense of fun or adventure) they wanted to build their own nests, become their own nuclear family. So my vision of recreating a Walton like ranch was over, we sold up and off we went our seperate ways.....

So here I am in my own Pad (cool lingo huh??) living the dream! Apron strings cut and free to 'fly by the seat of my pants'